In the age of information technologies about the birth of a child know everything. Especially those who has little. So instead of increasing awareness and education, it turns out the layering of personal experiences on subtracted in the depths of the Internet – and the ready position for the expectant mother who can spoil her motherhood or even scare him.
Do I need to prepare for pregnancy and how? How big a threat do? How to eat right? On this and many other 24 channel in an exclusive interview, the psychologist, the instructor in preparation for childbirth, doula Tamara Andreeva – expert, which has a direct view of motherhood and preparation for it.
Preparing for pregnancy
Tamara, tell us – how to prepare for pregnancy? Do I need to do?
Women begin to prepare for pregnancy birth. Even as a little girl, she hears stories about childbirth from your mom, friends. And it already forms its prenatal history: how many children she would like, how it will happen. And a woman comes to pregnancy with some of their installations. To change someone’s worldview- I have no such purpose, each person has his own path, it’s important to give support to the mother. But I can say that many, having passed my course in preparation for childbirth, and changes. They can easily say goodbye to toxic attitudes that prevent them to feel happy mom.
What is a doula? It is a helper in pregnancy and during childbirth, providing practical, informational and psychological support. Unlike a midwife, a doula does not use medical methods.
Preparing for childbirth includes three blocks. First, the information – available information, which is today. I give knowledge that will be useful during pregnancy, delivery and the postpartum period. In the classroom I give my General information: what are childbirth, as they can be. There are natural birth with complications caesarean section. Know about this is very important: so the woman and her partner feel confident in any situation. Because birth is a creative process and it is important not to plan a single script, and go, fully trusting yourself and your baby.
The second component of knowledge about nutrition. Very much influenced by the lifestyle of the pregnant woman, her diet. To give birth without a set of extra pounds is much softer to our body. The postpartum period and recovery will be much better, smoother, when the woman held his form.
The third block – physical activity. To move is important. This can be walking, walking in the Park, swimming, sauna, a sport that the woman was engaged in before pregnancy.
There is no secret. To prepare for pregnancy or not – everyone decides. But those who come to me for the second, third babies, and I have not had this training earlier – sorry about that. Say, if the first child knew all this, it would be less helpless in situations. That is, possessing information, mom and dad are sure that is happening. There is no right and wrong. There is a personal experience. And every child has his own. But the courses give an understanding. Therefore, I would recommend to prepare.
Yet another argument. We used to live in large families, several generations in the same house, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, sisters. Close to half of the village family and was the exchange of information. Today, urbanization has invaded our world, families are now far away from each other, young people went to another city, and knowledge that have been passed down from generation to generation is interrupted. Plus a lot of information all around, we live in a digital world, and online writing all and Sundry.
Prepared parents are immune from helplessness
Pregnant women and very impressionable, and reading it all – no matter good or bad – are some scripts that then have to work out. Better to work on their beliefs, and not take someone else’s experience. I would recommend to put a huge filter and filter the experience of others. To prepare only to her and that baby. And my graduate students, who come second and third time and listen to the same course, he hasn’t changed for 8 years – saying it gives them confidence. Charged each other, my support.
What beliefs are “the most toxic” of those that You have encountered?
A lot of them. For example: “I can’t have it”. Because “mom’s at grandma’s and I’m definitely not the face”. “Be sure to hurt the child because we are all bad medicine.” “You can’t take the husband on childbirth, because he will become impotent, we will never have good sex”. “I will lose attractiveness after childbirth” or “I no one will need” that “a child will steal the love of my husband,” “I have nothing good I can not give her child”, “education is work”.
Come to me people are 33-35 years old. 18-year – old mother, these are isolated cases. In 33-35 – it is a conscious child. Many of these moms have achieved something in life, and they have a huge fear that after delivery will not be realized.
I have a lot of them I have my own experience of motherhood, and the experience of my graduates, that child is only the engine forward, inspiration, this is the best coach, who discovers a man of many talents, which you didn’t even know that.
For example – no sleep for a week. Or half a year. Or breast feeding, talking on the phone and one foot to MOP up the puddle. Or suddenly a flash of inspiration that you always dreamed to work with children, and you open your garden. Or become a pastry chef or building a manufactory for natural cosmetics.
But the topic of urbanization – now a lot of women who work, do not leave for 6-7 month, and work to the last. That’s just to the hospital. Is this normal?
Absolutely right if work is a pleasure. If a person feels at work is necessary, important and she is comfortable there. I’m always for love. If you have the passion it inspires and inspires, then during pregnancy it does not interfere. What would work was not.
Some special regimes for pregnant women I have never supported. Because then crashing my whole theory is that every person is a universe personality. If a person is cool – why not?
During pregnancy person can do everything. There is nothing that is impossible. Only if something you have is heaviness, rejection, poor health, emotional burden, then don’t do it.
But if for medical reasons the doctors have concluded, and prohibit, for example, to walk, to move actively? The woman loves to walk.
My belief – we are chosen children. I have stories of when the pregnancy was perfect, and the babies never came. Missed abortion, for example. And there are pregnancy, which hung in the balance, this was a moving, active mothers and the children were in these families. The main thing – faith in the child that everything will be as you need for your family and that you are doing the best for themselves, and thus for the child. Mom, you, and you intuitively feel that it is necessary that there is.
And doctors have many people, so many opinions. In a huge city person might see ten doctors and they will give ten different conclusions. And the decision to accept you.
Tell us more about nutrition during pregnancy. How to eat right, what not?
It’s important to have smaller meals. Often: three main meals and two to three snacks a day. Thus the mother does not go hungry. And she never eats large portions that does not crash her metabolism and excess weight. My first pregnancy gained 35 pounds, everyone told me that it’s genetics, we are all chubby and I’m chubby. I first stood in the bakery, waiting for scones with jam and sprinkles. Me all there was to know. I allowed myself to eat a lot of everything – it’s for the baby, it’s better, and this is what she wants, not me. But that’s not true.
And then it is very hard to walk pregnancy were swelling, pressure, and difficult to recover. Because the extra weight is a huge burden for the body. With the second pregnancy I revised my diet and approach to pregnancy and gained only 9 pounds. Genetics immediately retreated. And this will immediately ease. You do everything you can to run-jump, no feeling of fatigue, this is especially true when you have kids because mom they has not been canceled, and you love your job and so you it’s important to stay mobile.
Therefore, a fractional power. And it is important to have the entire food pyramid: vegetables, cereals, fish, meat, dairy products. There are no secrets. It’s simple: try to eat carbohydrates before lunch. After – protein foods. And – to stick to the water regime. At least 30 milliliters per kilogram of body weight. And coffee tea is not a drink. Only pure water. Water is the formula of health for any person. This is just prevention of edema, stretch marks, healthy skin.
That is – healthy nutrition is also relevant for pregnant women?
So. All the Goodies with flavors, flavor enhancers, dyes very serious impact on your pancreas and also pass the placental barrier and in microdozes get your child. It is therefore important that the food was fresh and homemade. To rule out food poisoning. Because any such poisoning may result in intrauterine infection. This is especially important in the third trimester when the placental barrier is slightly reduced, and the child more susceptible to these risks. My hands, eat at home.
Again to grandmothers who say, “you’re not yourself during pregnancy nothing limited”. That pregnant women can be everything at any time is true?
So. They can do everything with healthy food. And when a woman begins to eat for two or three – then it brings a lot of health problems of mother and baby in the aftermath. And for us it is important to preserve women’s health. The healthy mother – healthy children.
Women in the third trimester start to seize the fears. When we are not preparing to leave, know information that gives us confidence and support, fears occupy a significant position. And in the prenatal time moms begin to eat tasty, pamper yourself, compensating unconsciously. I know that the moms who attend my classes, no such need. They have confidence in the preparation of such an important stage in life like meeting with your child.
I’m not saying that you need to get rid of fears. It is good that they are – they help us to become better, to prepare, to pay attention to is important to us. For example, if there is fear breaks, I’ll know about it and understand that any crotch can give birth to any child, if she’s healthy with no fungal diseases.
I’m also going to follow the regime, to eat properly, to observe the drinking mode, so tissue was healthy and ready for childbirth. And during labor I’m going to follow yourself, your needs, and even with the pose that I want to choose. And then it will be cool to work with fear breaks, I will have a good result.
Healthy eating and Hobbies – it is best for pregnant
As births occur
How to understand that the time has come to the hospital?
Birth begins, or early contractions, or discharge of water. Moreover, the discharge of water is not the beginning of labor, it is about premature rupture of fetal membranes, and it is important to contact the hospital – because such a birth should definitely be under medical observation protocols.
Real birth begins with contractions. They are false, the virtual and the real. Appear training with 32 weeks, and some moms – 30 just hardens the belly, with no pain. From 36-37 weeks appear false labor: also hardens the stomach and appears drawing sensations in the abdomen and back. They too can have the sequence and intervals. But real contractions with nothing to confuse.
They are on the rise, the pain is already stable. Mom feels that the stomach warms, the blood flow to the uterus. Interval between contractions is reduced, and the pain becomes brighter pronounced. Pain during childbirth from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. And the contractions from 5 to 15 minutes. This is the start of the latent phase. At this time, still stay at home. It is important for the hospital to go to active phaseso as not to bring down the mood of a woman. It is important to be quiet, dark, warm, secure. And the best conditions at home.
When it comes the active phase, contractions in the range from 1 minute to 4, i.e., in 10 minutes there are 3 good active labor, that means it’s time to go to the hospital. There she must inspect the doctor on duty. If he sees an opening for 1-2 cm or the absence of disclosure, establishes a latent phase and recommends or go home, or to walk around the hospital, or go in the chamber and wait there. This mom chooses what’s best for her.
When the opening 3 cm or more – this is the beginning of the active phase, the mother is invited to Rojal.
On the list of things in the hospital, I recommend a separate package for mom, dad, baby. In rodzal in the chamber.
Today, the medication is excluded from this list. Paid or contribution, or later are purchased the medications as needed. We are not preparing to leave with medicines, because it is aggression and settings to medical intervention. And we are preparing for a natural childbirth.
The final time of stay in the hospital – appeared baby. How important is it to lie on the why and how long it takes?
This is very important. This is the start of a very powerful process mcrobot – formation of the immune system. A child is born is absolutely sterile and is lying on the mother is very important to exchange for her future life, heat chain. The mother of a child vigra, gives a soft adaptation after birth, Omena its microflora. And breathing, and the heartbeat of mother gives the child confidence that she was safe. This process lasts for two hours after the birth, the mother in this period is in the delivery room, it is advisable to get out of bed. In this period, the child is put to the breast on demand.
How to recover after childbirth
How to recover after childbirth. What are the ways, how long it will take and what to do and what not?
That’s a huge block. But the there is a period of 40 days after the birth, which is to restore physiological and psychological. It can be great. But usually within 40 days.
The most important thing: mom needs comfort, sense of security and safety, home support. I always teach moms that the first 40 days they have a mode of “sacred cow”: a mother it is important to free from household chores, to enjoy a child, a new condition. All of this will be a much better place if organized around a circle of support – husband, friends, parents, if they support type of communication.
If the parents are authoritarian parenting style, with directivity and comparisons, it will be very traumatic for women. To such parents I would recommend a list of instructions. For example, the mother arrives and says: “Why do you have the baby in the hat” or “Why without a hat?”, or ” Why the floor is not washed?”, and you just say to him – “Mom, I need your help. Go to the store, I need this and this.” Because this mom is such the language of love. She says so not because bad, but because knows how to love. And it is important to accept it.
But in the postpartum period, the woman as a little girl. And every word in the side can be perceived of aggressive criticism. Therefore, it is important to understand that this is a speech of love. And tool interaction with valuable instructions, otherwise these parents do not know how to help. It is necessary to clearly articulate what you expect from them, and they will be easier to help.
There are moms who have supportive type of parenting. It’s rare, but they occur. I even offered to mothers as “mom rent”: she comes, cleans, prepares, and ready for any requests of the child that sits there waiting, not dictating. I even asked – “do you ever want to share your experience?”. She said, “Well, you are! I gave birth 30 years ago, on the contrary I want to learn with you, young”. It’s very cool when people in the 50-60 years it is fun to learn with young people. It speaks of the support she gives and that she made up. Because the people who belittle the weak, so too, unfortunately, is experiencing the implementation.
Therefore, the support is the most important thing in the postpartum period. Then mom easier to recover.
There are various tools to restore the same postnatal swaddling, closing delivery. But that’s not all you need. If you have a good support, loving people close to the woman perfectly recovered itself.
And it’s not necessarily the man, right? Can be a friend if her husband is not?
So. But it must be done in the prenatal period – to seek a circle of support. It can be your friends who ask “what to give you after birth?”. Elementary – pot of borscht. And after childbirth you live in non-stop mode. This means that you and your office friends, to which eight at work, can come in the morning and cook soup. You’ll be insanely happy.
It is also very important to relieve the woman from the point of view of the walk. For example, dad comes home from work and takes the baby for an hour or two outside, take a walk. Mother at this time can breathe, to be herself. Because it is very difficult to switch, giving all their time to one person, it is important to have time for yourself. This is also the prevention of burnout for mothers.
And when mom can voice their desires and resonates in the family is a better recovery after childbirth.
Recovery after childbirth contributes to the support of loved ones
Physiology – it is better to ask the gynecologist. But I do know that those secretions, which are the first 40 days – indicate the health of the woman. Monitor the color, odor, temperature. 42 days the woman listed at the maternity hospital where she gave birth, and in case of any moments she can apply there at any time of the day.
Athletic exercises a woman can develop feelings. The only thing not desirable about the first three months doing direct abdominal exercises. Because there is a closed white line. When three months convinced in shutting down the white line – you can do press. But there are women who have this is close to a year. This calls for a consultation with a surgeon, physical examination and further recommendations. Because of the diastasis appear at mom for various reasons, I’ve met mostly from moms who are beginning to exercise after birth, not allowing the body to recover.
And from the point of view of the psyche – the support and comfort it is important to praise the mother. And I have two key mantras that I would recommend.
- The first mantra is: you are a good mom, in any situation. Because a day is an average of five people who will question your motherhood skills.
- The second mantra is: you “big SIS”. Women have enough milk to feed her child. Breast-feeding is one of the tools of love.
And for every mother a happy healthy child is the indicator of its success in motherhood. And when the problem starts with the feeding, weighing, by applying, every mom really drops your confidence and it can also benefit in the postpartum apathy, depression. Therefore, it is important to realize that every woman has enough milk. There is no one who would not have milk after the baby is born. What you don’t see it, can’t feel the amount is sufficient – it does not understand. You just have to trust nature, to believe in themselves and to feel that you are a “big SIS” – and all turns out.
Visit the website 24 channel soon: o partnership delivery, for what they are and how to prepare for the interview with Tamara Andreeva.
All photos from the personal archive of Tamara