Don’t pretend! Tips for a good marriage from oldest sex expert

Не притворяйтесь! Советов для крепкого брака от старейшего секс-эксперта

Ruth WESTHEIMER is already 91, and she still talks about intimate things openly and jokingly (probably out of habit). Dr. Ruth is sure that the Foundation of happy families humor and regular sex. And the most frequent problem of unreasonably high expectations. We always dream about movie stars and girls from the covers and don’t want to put up with the shortcomings of real people.

The advice of a sex therapist is simple: “Take a bath together, lay on a bed of silk sheets and view erotic film”.

Sound of these recommendations, frankly, doesn’t look too complicated, but maybe worth a try?

Secret 1: Kill monotony!

To the routine and the monotony didn’t kill your family life, kill them yourself. Assign the spouse a “secret” rendezvous, arrange a costume party, spend the night in a hotel… in short, do something that doesn’t fit in your usual way. The main symptom of boredom in a relationship, constant tiredness and laziness. I noticed this – act now!

Secret 2: do Not take husband on bail

Many women believe wife another child in the family. Continuously learn, monitor and try to alter. “Don’t try to take her husband on bail, says sexologist – give him the freedom to make decisions and earn money. The role of the head of household must belong to the man, not you.”

Secret 3: Replace problem on fun

There are people who like to suffer: to create problems out of the blue, nitpick and throw tantrums over every missed nail. Instead of focusing on the difficulties, Ruth Westheimer advises to learn to enjoy everything that is happening. Flow taps and the Wallpaper peel? Turn your head the other way and notice the bright sun outside the window. Life is too short to afford the luxury of pessimism!

Secret 4: More hugs

Many spouses feel shy to show feelings in public, don’t like to hold hands or kiss. And as experience shows, a very good reason. It is noticed that in marriages where the couple is constantly touching each other and cuddling, and relationship stronger. “If the partners cease to touch each other – it’s a distress signal! – sure Westheimer. – Lack of touches and kisses leading to a gradual estrangement of the spouses. So beloved ironed hair, when you’re together to watch a movie, hug it before bed, put a hand on his knee when he drives the car…”

Secret 5: Create a temple of love

Try to make your bedroom as comfortable and romantic. Don’t let it be just another room in your apartment, but a real personal temple where every night will create the perfect relationship. The rule is not to drag into the bedroom work and everyday problems, learn how to completely escape and relax. The use of dimmed light, scented candles and light music welcome.

Secret 6: don’t pretend

Try to feel the partner and just enjoy each other. Don’t pretend to be good, if it is not. Talk about what you want, and remember that there is no such thing as “dirty or forbidden sex.” If you want to have fun, get it, come what may!

Secret 7: Go to the gym together

For as long as possible to preserve the sexual energy, be in good physical shape. You know that physical inactivity has a detrimental effect on libido, and the extra pounds make you feel ashamed of his body and to refuse from intimacy? Ruth Westheimer advises spouses together to apply for the gym or the pool. And health will be improved, and the overall objective will appear!

Secret 8: don’t save marriage, save yourself

“If you think that the relationship is stalled, do not try to revive them, believes Dr. Ruth. – Save first his life, filling it with joy and meaning. Regain lost happiness, and then can take care of the marriage. A perfect marriage is possible only between the happy life of people.”