In the line of fire: the three rules of unforgettable sex

На линии огня: три правила незабываемого интима

Advice about sex is one of the most popular genres such as women’s and men’s publications. “One movement that will bring him (her) crazy”, “69 tips for oral sex”, “Sex stunts that you don’t know yet” is the key assortment of content that meets a stable interest to intimate topics.

Don’t know about you, but I don’t believe that the secret to good sex is hidden in the theory, set forth a subjective expert. In the first place because everything is very individual and depends on who you moved on to practical exercises. For example, if a man gets a whipping with rods, I don’t him to become a good partner, no matter how much we tried. And because sex has very little to do with the conquest of the frontiers or Olympic competitions for the Nobel prize – fortunately, even in today’s world love is not limited to, records and achievements.

However, the demand for sex-tips indicates the willingness of millions of audience to get an intimate “Oscar”, especially in the categories for looseness and virtuosity. How else to gain experience, and not quantitative, but qualitative, if it is a very secretive region of existence, which is to say hints? Obviously, it is because partners are not in a hurry to tell each other what they like or what they would like to try – no one wants to look like an Amateur.


Sex gets better with practice, which cannot replace informative information. Explore the erotic tips in magazines and social networks, and the person with whom you are engaged in – sexual competence accompanies the attainment of personal and physical features. Those who are polygamous in nature, obviously, will have more difficult simply because each partner has their own ideas about beauty.


Studies confirm that understanding is the driving force behind sexual satisfaction. If you are seriously concerned about how to become better at sex, you need to master one simple skill – listening to your partner. Basic anatomical knowledge is, of course, also will not hurt.

According to a study published in the American Sociological Review last year, the level of enjoyment from sex and the number of women achieve orgasms increases dramatically between the first meeting and subsequent meetings. The study’s lead author, University of Michigan sociologist Elizabeth Armstrong emphasizes that “the learning partner plays a role even in the absence of continued attachment.” In surveys and interviews, most respondents focused on the awkwardness of the first sex and the importance of exploring each other’s bodies.

Sexual relationships, like any other, it boils down to communication, and during the exchange experience it is advisable to speak clearly. Don’t rely on signs or parables that can be interpreted ambiguously. Your partner has the right to know what you mean by code words and gestures. Be konkretnee. If you like what happens, tell me straight: “I love it” if no – explain what it is, but soft tone, without criticism and ridicule. Although it is important to talk about what gives you pleasure, follow a reasonable consistency in the disclosure of information. If your ecstasy is far from perfect, yet you will not bind with ropes, it is not necessary to announce it on the first night of love. It is recommended to start with something more common that in the beginning to build trust.


If the above sounds too bold for you, try a sensitive technique exposure therapy, Sensate Focus, developed by leading researchers of human sexuality William Masters and Virginia Johnson (which, incidentally, filmed a great series “Masters of sex”).

The idea is to touch the partner for their own pleasure, attentive and responsive to their feelings. At the insistence of sexologists, the process starts with the kissing or touching any part of the body except the Breasts or genitals (remember, the point is to have fun got you, not the partner) and lasts for four to six weeks in four phases, where you will be “touching” and “touched” (toucher and receiver, if in English). The purpose of the exercise is to build genuine intimacy and to stop being ashamed of your real desires. That, as demonstrated by masters and Johnson, helps to become better at sex. And relations, respectively, too.