Sexologists told how to refuse a man in sex

Сексологи рассказали, как правильно отказать мужчине в сексе

Not everything runs smoothly in the intimate life. Not always a woman can say, “Stop.” What’s he gonna tell me? What if he dumps me? We must be patient! NO! Can not be tolerated. But how to refuse a man in sex? Parse this question in our article.

This difficult situation often threatens the woman emotional shock. The period of courtship is sometimes engenders in the female a false sense of “duty” to devote time to the fan. But when the distance starts to shrink, the man a soft “no” begins to be perceived as an evasive “Yes.” How to behave in this situation?

The man’s behavior may be dictated by a number of reasons. There are “males”, which is not denied or there were always the “trouble-free”. There are men who don’t need long flirting, they tend to quickly to bed. Of course, it’s nice to think that your sex appeal furiously giddy but dubious pleasure, when sympathy becomes obsessive, writes “I Want”.

First, to eliminate possible feelings of guilt – you don’t have to go to bed with a man in bed just because you gave a bouquet and a box of chocolates. Or because the partner is in the mood on this evening. Sex is a two-person operation, which should take place by mutual desire. All of a sudden, right?

But it is important to understand that a Horny male – male aggressive. The center responsible for excitation near the center, responsible for aggression. If your refusal will sound rude, you risk running into even more rude. Stay respectful and calm. Try and gently explain the reason for the refusal, appealing to the rationality of men. Do not let him manipulate or to blackmail. Besides, it is worth remembering that the man that is configured on the sex, it’s silly to offer friendship. Tactfully and politely try to leave the area proximity to an undesirable partner.

In the Arsenal of possible causes of failure creative women can come up with anything, unless, of course, the true reason sounds somehow unconvincing. It could be failed relationships with the former, and “sex only after marriage”, and venereal disease at worst.

If a woman is insecure or for whatever reason want to delay the time of intimacy, it should be a hint about this man. Hope for the future will calm the excited male. He will not hear “failure” and “Yes”, but then.

The ability to speak in sex “no” is very important for women because they are less peculiar to sex without commitment.

Ekaterina Bogomolova, a practicing bodily therapist, sexologist.

“I always say that a woman’s body belongs only to the woman. And can not be a tool to attract or maintain a relationship. It is therefore important to listen to your own feelings. We must remember that physiological arousal may not coincide with psychological readiness. For example, the nipples swell or labia moistened and emotionally you are not ready. This discrepancy can create stress in the middle of having sex like you, and transmitted to the partner.

So if you want to say “no” to your partner or the man just start a relationship, it is better to talk about it openly and frankly, because it’s okay. You have to remember that the man to whom you are important – as a woman in General, I would understand your reluctance. Of course if you are in a long-term relationship and the desire not stable, you should pay attention to it and possibly see a specialist.

How to avoid excessive aggression after being denied sex?

Be honest and correct in the wording of the waiver, it is important to clearly define your desires: if it’s “no” means no, if you want, but not now, or as something different, you should openly communicate to the man what and how you want.

In the case of strangers, and strangers, if you feel the compulsion to intimacy, should say a firm “no” with a clear confidence within the “what you can’t do this”.

Are there any rules for refusing sex?

There are men who believe that the word “no” doesn’t mean quite the opposite and a woman need to “persuade”. To avoid ambiguity, it is important to say a complete and coherent sentence, like: “I don’t want sex tonight”, “You’re a nice person, but I don’t want to have sex with you.” Feel free to repeat the failure. If this is your permanent partner, you should explain why you don’t want or not ready. Because man can perceive the refusal as an unwillingness to take it. Therefore it is necessary to give a reason and to speak in these times that a man can do to boost your mood.

Sex must be voluntary, in memory and by mutual consent.

Oksana Efremova, sexologist.

“The most important rule in this matter is to refuse a man in sex when you don’t want sex. If you don’t want sex – this is enough to keep it. And, by the way, the same rule applies to men, and when he doesn’t want sex – don’t demonstratively slam the door and go in the bath with a huge vibrator out of spite.

How to refuse sex to the feeling that there is a rejection of the partner in General, his affection, attention, love? There is really important, how to do it. Agree, there is a difference between “fuck off, I don’t want” and “I don’t want sex, maybe just lie down in the arms?”.

I would suggest to listen to their feelings and understand what I want actually? Maybe just to hold hands. Or is there still resentment and undeveloped conflict and need to resolve it first before moving on to such attention. Or is there fatigue and just want to sleep. It is important to monitor their needs in the moment, and honestly their voice – I don’t want sex, I want to talk to you because they feel offended. Or tired and just want to shut close. So be honest towards the partner, will not have the feeling of avoidance of contact and clear what to do now.

If there is a feeling of anxiety or fear, the fear that the man would respond aggressively, it is important to think about is anxiety about the reality or my personal beliefs about how men usually react to failure? If a man has never shown aggression in this matter, you should explore your fears and beliefs about what “should” the woman in the relationship, what is its role and how safe men as a kind of unconscious picture of the world.

If there is a risk that the man might actually react aggressively to make a scandal or there is a threat of physical impact -relationship is really unsafe and I would recommend to think about how to take care of yourself and good to get out of such relationships. If necessary, you should seek the assistance of trusted friends, family, or a helpline. Because a person’s right to refuse sex within his legal rights, regardless of whether they have a formal marriage or not.”

It would seem a simple truth: “Sex lesson for two, it needs to happen by mutual desire.” But this is possible only in the case when within the pair dialogue, understanding and feeling each other. If it’s a one night sex or intimacy with a new partner, here in the first place – the correct placement of borders and the control over the situation. All the mutual love!

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